How to Choose Your Favorite Kid

We know that you love all of your children. No question about it.

But let's be real - you have a favorite kid. Sometimes your favorite changes by the day. Sometimes it changes by the hour. Sometimes it changes by the minute. Shit, sometimes all of your kids are hellions and if you are being honest with yourself, your favorite child is the cat. Or your husband. (Wait, forget that noise because he's at work and he's missing all of the "fun.") 

If all of your kids are angels and you can't choose a favorite, I hate you, er, here is some criteria to help you make your choice.

The Sleeping Child

If one of your kids is sleeping peacefully, particularly in the middle of the day and especially if that child is three years old and gave up napping two and a half years ago, that child is your favorite. Babies who sleep through the night at a young age get bonus points in this category. The quiet, sleeping cherub always wins. 

The Independent Child

Kids are so needy. From the time they wake up, they need things. Desperately. And quickly. They simply cannot survive a minute longer if they do not get a cup of apple juice, Goldfish crackers, or a partner for their 47th round of Chutes and Ladders. They are SO DAMN NEEDY. If you can't get your kids off of your case, you will probably find that the independent child, the one who is playing quietly with a fire truck or pouring a glass of water - without spilling a drop - is your favorite. At least until he needs something.

The Kid Who Ate Their Veggies

Some kids are naturally drawn to healthy foods. Others request chicken nuggets at every meal. I'm on kid number four, and I've got one chicken nugget kid (here's looking at you, Toast!) and two who will eat just about anything. The baby is yet to be determined. Anywho, I always adore the kid who will chow down on their broccoli and ask for more. Even if they dip every nibble in ranch dressing. A victory is a victory.

The Polite Child

Kids are a work in progress. Aren't we all? I'm still training mine to use their manners and not their whiny voice, but they do well most of the time. It always makes my heart sing when they are exceptionally gracious and polite. "May I please have some more ranch dressing for my green beans, Mommy?" Yes, yes you may, favorite child. Yes, you may.


It was a good day around here, and I think all of my kiddos hit Favorite Kid status at some point today. Except Beam. 

She colored herself green and took a crap on the floor. 

Maybe tomorrow, sweet girl. Maybe tomorrow.